How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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