is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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