I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
