As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
