where am i from again
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize