well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
