I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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