please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He felt like a one man threesome
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
