just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize