did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
