She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
