Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize