ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
