apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
