i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
