maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
