my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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