i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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