I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
