dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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