that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
