I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
