i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Come on in and take your pants off
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