I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
