You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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