My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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