Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
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