Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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