Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
