All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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