But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
