someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
