i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
