Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
