You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
