Tell her she can't have a vagina
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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