She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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