I want to make a zoo with you.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
