i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Randomize
