Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
