this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize