Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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