I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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