Pregnant stripper...not hot.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize