How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I seem to have left my pride at pride
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
