don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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