I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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