you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
