Walk of Shame. In a state park.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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