dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
