I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
