Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
