All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize