That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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