i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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