Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
