He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
