how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
