There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
